Used cannon for the first time
You've reached 50% of the space station. Keep going.
I just woke up with a cannon attached to my hand.
That's not funny, I just died.
Fall? I was aiming for that hole, honestly...
You've completed the tutorial level. Now you're ready.
You've depleted all of your ammo.
You've completed the game in hard mode.
You've escaped the space station. Congrats!
Your final score reached over 1 million.
You've destroyed every single enemy in your path.
You reached the end in under 4 minutes.
You reached the end without recieving any damage.
Your final score reached over 250000.
Why use a cannon when you can tackle 'em.
A thousend cannon shots later.
Did you just fall in the last pitfall of this space station? Oh, that's just unlucky.
Your escape progression caused the space station to initiate selfdestruction.
Your final score reached over 500000.
Bullets? What bullets? (You avoided or shot all bullets)
Have 1% or less HP for longer than 3 seconds.
You reached the end without destroying any human-like enemies.
As Bob so eloquently stated, you made his babushka proud by destroying the clones.
You've done over 1 million union credits of damage.
You destroyed all of your pursuers.
You defeated Z-84 with your base weapon in the training room.
You broke out of hibernation.
You successfully escaped the space station and managed to destroy it together with all the data and experiments on it.
You defeated sergeant Petrov.
You survived for 60 seconds in the room of death.
You defeated another Z series clone.